the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
