Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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