hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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