GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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