She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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