that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
