I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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