She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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