real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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