Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize