she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
