how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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