3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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