I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize