He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
