He is an equal opportunity slut.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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