Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just want nice things and good sex
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
