Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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