arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
