I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
