I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
What a fucking waste of an outfit
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
