well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
