Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
