I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
How's work?
Spinning.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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