Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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