Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
