Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
someone get that fucking seahorse.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Randomize
