I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize