I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
