This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
