Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
