Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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