the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
