I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
