A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
worst night to have a conscience
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
