I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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