My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize