A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
