ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You can't special order awesome
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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