Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
party gras won. party gras always wins.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
