the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
