Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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