I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
