Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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