...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
