hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
