We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize