can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
