Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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