Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
