you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize