He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
