Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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