I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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