im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
