All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
