Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
