Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize