Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
