cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
