Why are handjobs necessary in class?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize