so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
