8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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