did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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