the day after is always just damage control
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
