found the other keg... it's in the tree
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
