i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
